Blessings in Disguise: Finding Light Amidst the Struggles

Lately, I’ve been feeling this familiar heaviness again. Around mid-April, I started noticing a shift in my mood—parang bigla akong nawalan ng gana, ng drive, ng hope. The pressure from work, from life, from everything I’m trying to achieve—it started to feel like ang hirap abutin ng mga resulta na inaasahan ko. I kept asking myself “Will things ever fall into places?”

Me at 1:39AM. I'm so tired na naka upo sa chair ko so, sa floor naman maiba lang.

There were days na gusto ko lang mapag-isa. Not because I don’t want to be around people, but because I feel like being alone might help me understand myself better. Maybe healing requires solitude too. Minsan kasi kahit surrounded tayo ng mga tao, we still feel like no one really gets it. And that’s okay. Hindi naman natin kailangang i-explain palagi. Sometimes, silence is our way of surviving.

And then came a small miracle.

A month ago, we booked a staycation at Watergate Hotel in Butuan—just for a short escape, something to look forward to. I didn’t know back then na by the time the trip came, it would be exactly what I needed. It was like perfect timing, as if the universe knew I needed something to lift me up.

The comfort of the hotel, the soft bed, the relaxing vibe, the pool, the food—lahat ng iyon became my moment of pause. For the first time in a while, I felt okay. I felt safe. I felt light. And for that, I’m truly grateful.

Pero syempre, reality doesn’t wait forever. After that quick escape, bumalik na naman ako sa totoo—responsibilities, deadlines, stress, and that constant noise in my head. Alam mo yung parang isang hinga lang ‘yung pahinga mo, tapos balik agad sa gulo?

It was overwhelming. But despite all the pressure, I was able to close a new contract. I got hired as a YouTube channel manager—and the pay is good! It was more than the range na binigay ko! I even requested my client to just send it in pesos (the client pays upfront!), para diretso na, no less, no more. That small win, that new opportunity, gave me a fresh kind of motivation.

Now, it adds to the list of things I need to work on. Another plate on my table, yes—but this time, it feels like a blessing. A proof that even when life feels heavy, the universe doesn’t forget to send a little light your way.

I’m still tired sometimes. Still sad sometimes. But now I’m also reminded that I’m still blessed. Behind those blues, a new door opened. A new role. A new challenge. A new reason to keep showing up.

To anyone reading this na nakakaramdam din ng ganito: You are not alone. Your pace is valid. Your pain is real. And your healing, kahit slow, is still healing.

So here I am—still figuring things out, still healing, but now with a little more hope. And maybe that’s enough for now.

Love,
Dee Mayang